The very thing meant to connect is often a thief of contentment. This isn’t a surprise. We know our phones are a distraction and the accompanying studies with findings like, excessive time on social media can lead to comparison and heightened stress. Still, what do we see when people have a gap of time? Scrolling. 

FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, and escapism are often linked to excessive phone usage. Our contact list is full and our social media sites are popping with new content. When someone texts us while we drive, we want to read immediately, not wait until we park. The invite might be old by then. When there’s a lull in the dinner conversation, why not check social media? Surely there is something more exciting going on and less difficult than thinking of a new topic of conversation.

Unfortunately, things spiral real quick. We don’t want to miss out or feel awkward, use apps and texts to stay connected and aware, develop an addiction, and pay less attention to our physical worlds. As we pay less attention to our physical worlds, we’re the ones paying though. There’s pleasure in the quick escape or mental switch to an easier view but pain in the potential detriment to such risks as sleep, stress, anxiety, and loneliness. 

If we’re not careful with our phones, we’ll miss out on what’s happening right in front of us and pile on some extra weight in our mental and emotional backpacks. What’s right in front of us – relationships, meaningful work, nature, pausing to reflect and be grateful – will help us grow in contentment. 

Regulating our phone time can contribute to pursuing contentment. It takes discipline to have a healthy interaction with our phones. Take inventory of how much time you’re spending on your phone every day, which apps you’re on the most, and be honest about what is and isn’t unavoidable. For instance, if your job is managing social media, you’ll be on your phone a lot during the workday. Here are some tips to get started thinking about phone usage balance. 

Tips for Phone Usage Balance

Don’t bring your phone into your bedroom.

Charge your phone outside of your bedroom when you sleep and buy an alarm clock. Reading a book, talking to your partner, or journaling are much better facilitators of grounding you and preparing you for a fruitful night’s rest.

Don’t scroll or text while you walk or drive.

Going to and from places is prime time for reflection and observing your environment. Allow yourself to use this time to think, enjoy nature, music, or catching up with a friend on the phone. Plus, putting the phone away while you travel minimizes distracted accidents.

Update your phone settings.

Take advantage of built-in features such as setting your screen to grayscale to minimize attraction, setting limits on time-draining apps, turning off irrelevant push notifications, or silencing notifications altogether during specific moments of the day when you need to connect with others or rest.

Delete time-draining apps from your phone.

If you do a deep-dive into how often you use certain apps, this will help you diagnose the problem areas. Deleting an app from your phone doesn’t mean you can’t visit the site to find information, but it does deter you. The notifications and user-friendly phone app version aren’t readily available on your phone.

Steadily chop time off phone usage; don’t get too ambitious too quickly.

After taking inventory of how much time you’re on your phone daily and identifying the problem areas, develop a plan for how much to decrease phone usage. Choose to ease up on phone usage in minimal increments. This will ensure steady changes leading to long term adaptation.

Our smartphones and social media are part of our daily lives, and the qualities they bring aren’t all negative –  connection with people around the world, savvy apps that dive into educational topics, logging exercise to stay motivated, and much more are just a few benefits. However, putting guardrails around our phones can help us find balance and pursue contentment.