I’ve always disliked it when people completely discounted another person’s abilities in an area. 

“You won’t learn anything in his class.”

“She’s awful at her job. I can’t work with her.” 

If  I had the choice of taking a class from a better teacher or working alongside the most skilled, pleasant employee, in and of itself, I’d choose to do so over a more lacking alternative.

We don’t get to work with the A Team all the time though. There are challenging people everywhere. Plus, sometimes people are great in one area but lacking in another. Maybe they were indeed not great at teaching but excellent at encouragement.

Not a Gratitude Journal. An “Everyone Has Something to Teach You” Journal.

My first full-time job out of college was as a reporter. For a young adult, it was an eye-opening look at human nature at play in politics, education, business, and social circles. Those challenging people were peeping out of most articles. Maybe they weren’t quoted or mentioned in the story, but the more you’re an eyewitness to the inner workings of certain groups, the more you can etch out character descriptions, including behind-the-scenes voices. 

I started to get discouraged about what I was seeing at play in certain circles, but I didn’t want to let my discouragement make me a stereotypical cynical reporter. I challenged myself to think of one thing someone taught me each day. Every day after work, I would pull out my “Everyone Has Something to Teach You” notebook, write down the date, choose a person I’d interacted with who taught me something that day, and write about what I learned from them. 

Cheesy, yeah. Helpful, yeah.

I didn’t make my entries with rose colored glasses on. Sometimes what I learned from people took the form of a warning in how NOT to handle situations. Still, they taught me something. And, sometimes the person wasn’t that great in one area but had a stand-out quality in another. The exercise helped me to not solely focus on negative qualities. Plus, there are some all-round wonderful people, and we can’t let the negative things happening around them overshadow who they are and the work they’re doing. 

This exercise put brakes to my dwelling on negative characters. Everyone has something to teach you.

Perspective Taking Doesn’t Mean Dishonesty or Lack of Boundaries.

Don’t do this exercise with a superiority complex. Be humble and honest about your own complexities. But, it can help you take a deep breath and think about something to learn versus all that you’re losing. It can help you in challenging situations or to take perspective and practice teachability as you reflect on what you’re learning in observations of others.

Another word of caution: stay discerning. Put boundaries up and don’t let someone take advantage of you. This exercise doesn’t mean you think everything is good. Be honest about the qualities you’re seeing in others and in situations. But, you can be honest and still find something to learn. Don’t spiral in criticism of others. Choose to learn and grow, not letting others control a spiral to discontentment.