Lots of wedding thoughts this month as I prepare for my childhood best friend’s wedding and celebrate my own wedding anniversary. 

Weddings bring out a stream of advice from well-wishers. While most of it is well meaning, it can be a bit overwhelming. There’s advice on everything from how to be a great spouse to the most comfortable and stylish ceremony chairs. Cue decision fatigue. 

Some of the best wedding preparation advice I received had more to do with big picture thought processes than specific details. These are the pieces of advice I received that I continue to share to couples preparing for their big day. Hopefully, you find relief through these words, not more panic.

Many Great Days vs. One Best Day

Wedding Advice Received: 

“Your wedding doesn’t have to be the best day of your life. There are going to be many beautiful days in your lifetime. Your wedding will be a beautiful, great day in your life, but you don’t have to have one singular best day.” 

How It Helps:

This advice freed the pressure to make everything perfect. You want your wedding to be beautiful and special. It will be great because of the love you celebrate, but it doesn’t have to be a perfect series of events. If you’re marrying the right person and are committed to marriage, there will be many “best days”, some more extravagant than others.

Preparing for Marriage During Engagement

Wedding Advice Received:

“Focus on the marriage more than the wedding.” 

How It Helps:

During engagement, a lot of conversations between partners come up as you build your life together. A lifetime of marriage is more important than one day. When there are conflicts that need to be addressed, don’t let your wedding decor win out over spending quality time with your fiancé and building a firm foundation for a lifetime together.

Enjoying the Season

Wedding Advice Received:

“When you’re engaged, don’t wish the season away. Don’t rush toward the wedding day and forget about the sweet season of engagement. Why would you wish away this season you’ve prayed for?” 

How It Helps: 
Whether you’re religious or not, we can all learn from not rushing so much that we miss out on the joy right in front of us. If there’s a moment you’ve been waiting for, like engagement, there’s a tension between enjoying that season and preparing/planning for the next one, marriage. Do you catch yourself saying things like: “I’m just ready to be married.” or “It will be easier when we get married.” If so, be cautious of that rush to marriage mentality. Yes, marriage and a wedding are what you’re preparing for after a ring, but also be sure not to wish away the season of engagement and preparation. Enjoy it. Every season has its joys. Enjoy the one you’re in.

Pick Your Top Three Wedding Day Categories

Wedding Advice Received: 

“When it comes to planning your wedding, pick three non-negotiables that you really want a certain way. For example: flowers, venue, dress. Allocate your time and budget with these top three things in mind. Every category doesn’t have to be superb.”

How It Helps:

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. Try narrowing down the details to three key things you want to be just so. When you focus on three aspects of your wedding instead of dozens of aspects, it feels more manageable and can relieve stress. Yes, all the other things have to get done, but focus on three for starters. When it’s time to expand to everything else, remind yourself that your focus areas are complete and the budget and time allocated to the other things doesn’t have to be perfect. This process feels more manageable and ensures that you accomplish your goals for the day.

Timed Goodbye to Pinterest

Wedding Advice Received: 

“Once you decide on a certain aspect of your wedding, stop looking at inspiration on Pinterest. And, at some point, stop looking at Pinterest, blogs, or other people’s wedding photos online altogether. You’ve picked what you want and looking around could spark second guessing, panic, racing thoughts, etc.” 

How It Helps:

Once a decision is made, move forward - life advice that applies to planning a wedding and much more. During wedding prep, you’ll have a flood of ideas. Barricading your mind from some of these ideas can help you stay secure in your wedding plans.

Your wedding day doesn’t have to be full of anxious, racing thoughts. Make it a great day without unnecessary pressure and remember that a marriage is more important than a wedding day.

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