A Guide To Living in Your Season of Life
If you’re constantly preparing for the next season of life, you’re not living and thriving in your current season of life.
High school student focused on college.
Recently married couple obsessed with becoming parents.
Successful, seasoned business person checking out until retirement.
Have you ever felt yourself in one of these types of scenarios, focused more on the next natural season than the present?
If you’re a goal setter and planner (ahem, raising my hand), then the answer is likely “yes.”
For me, one of the most memorable mental shifts with life seasons happened when a close friend got engaged a little later in her adult life than the norm for southern society. This wise friend said she was going to enjoy every aspect of being engaged. Prepare for the wedding, yes, but enjoy being engaged. She said, “Why would I wish away this season that I’ve prayed so much for?”
Whether you’re religious or not, I think we can all learn from this wise advice. If there’s a moment you’ve been waiting for, like engagement, there’s a tension between enjoying that season and preparing/planning for the next one, marriage. If you’re a planner, you likely veer too far into the “prepare for what’s next” category than the “be in the now” category.
Here are some of my favorite reminders and heart questions when I’m preparing for the next season more than living in my current season:
Rushing through life isn’t just physical. It’s also mental.
There’s an element of preparation that is wise, and some upcoming seasons require more preparation than others. However, if you’re regularly thinking more about the next season than the one you’re in, contentment and focus are likely to suffer. You’re like the person on vacation who can’t take in one landmark because they’re thinking about how to get to the next stop on the trip. Are you mentally sprinting when you should be walking?
Beware of age limits on certain seasons.
The social pressure to funnel people through the same seasons in certain age ranges can breed discontentment. When a high achiever isn’t going through the socially-viewed appropriate season at the appropriate time, they can feel shame and make poor choices for the purpose of meeting the socially-approved calendar. We don’t all have to graduate college by 22 and land our dream job by 30. Are you entering a new season because it’s the right next step for you or because you feel silly societal pressure? Is the pressure you’re feeling a good or faulty motivator?
You can’t prepare for every scenario.
For all of life, you are both in between seasons and in a season. Sometimes you’re aware of the next season ahead and sometimes an unpredictable moment quickens the transition into an unexpected season.
You can be as wise as possible and prepare for likely seasons: going to college, saving for a downpayment on a house, retirement. However, some seasons are unexpected, and you can’t prepare for every life event. Are you playing mental gymnastics to control every potential season when you can’t realistically plan for it all?
Guidance to Living In and Preparing for Seasons
Don’t let the next thing rob you of the right now. As a planner, it’s a challenge. So, I take those planning skills and do a bit of a worksheet of my own when I catch myself rushing, setting age limits on seasons, or preparing for unrealistic scenarios.
What season(s) am I in?
What can I do to remind myself to stay in the moment with this season?
What known season(s) am I likely headed into?
How can I prepare for those likely next seasons? Only list what you can reasonably do.
What scenarios am I thinking about that have shown no signs of happening yet? Name them and throw them away in a mental trash can.
Guide to Living in and Preparing for the Right Season
Be where you are.
Arrange for what you can.
Throw away (mentally) scenarios you have no control over.