Contentment Is…
Do you have a favorite meal? One of my favorite meals to cook is a sundried tomato chicken pasta. When this is on the dinner docket, I know not to starve myself before dinner but also to make sure I’m hungry for it because it’s delicious! Once the last bit of parmesan melts on my pasta dish, I want to finish dinner with no remnants of hunger yet not feeling overly stuffed either. I want to feel satisfied.
Satisfied. That word is often used to help define contentment if you look up contentment in a dictionary.
Think about contentment in terms of food and the signals your body sends to your brain about hunger and fullness.
If contentment is satisfaction, you have to be hungry for something to then be satisfied. This means that you can’t be reaching for nothing and be content. Being content doesn’t mean the absence of goals and drive. What’s that hunger you have? What drives you? This is your purpose.
If contentment is satisfaction, you have to know when to say “This is enough.” I’m full. This means you can’t always reach for everything and be content. Being content doesn’t mean the absence of personal boundaries and rest. How do you know your cup is full? How do you gain this healthy outlook in life? This is your perspective.
With this food metaphor in mind, let’s talk about what contentment IS.
Contentment Is…
Gained by a combination of purpose and perspective and must be continually worked toward with an honest, strong understanding of who you are as an individual and how you relate to the world.
Purpose:
Identify what you’re “hungry” for out of life. What do you want to do and who do you want to be? Put words to your life vision and values. Actively live in the pursuit of that purpose and block out views that distract. When you pay too much attention to pursuits that pull you outside of your purpose, your joy and contentment will be threatened.
Integrate practices in your life that help remind you of your purpose.
Re-assess when changes need to be made. Life seasons, interests, and skill sets might change. Adapt accordingly but always have a guiding purpose in life.
Perspective:
Develop awareness of who you are as an individual and flee from comparison. Sometimes healthy competition is good to challenge you to be better in certain skills, but when this shifts to comparison that whispers you should be someone you’re not, mentally fight those voices.
Know what you can change and what you can’t, writing these thoughts out and talking with wise counsel when appropriate.
Practice sincere gratitude.
Develop practices that enable you to live with mental clarity. For example: getting enough sleep and exercising. Some of these practices vary by person. For example, if a clean house helps you focus and be restful, make that a priority. If your mind struggles with comparison and frustration after multiple hours of scrolling on social media, set limits on apps and stick to them.
Continually Worked Toward:
Just like physical hunger, contentment can be established then lost repeatedly. There have to be nutritional “tools” going into your contentment cup to satisfy it such as knowledge of purpose, pursuit of that purpose in your day-to-day life, gratitude, and awareness of what helps you establish mental clarity.
As you go through life, you’ll understand new things about yourself. Stay aware and be comfortable adjusting based on knowledge of what matters to you and what doesn’t.
When you feel your contentment equilibrium challenged, try practices such as going for walks to think, having alone time to journal, talking about life with a trusted confidant, and even doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone and reminds you of why you’re pursuing what you’re pursuing. Again, these activities will vary depending on the person. Discover what works for you and do that whenever you feel your contentment threatened.