Follow for Follow: Personal Social Media Motives

Black Mirror’s “Nosedive” episode stars Lacie, a character obsessed with improving her social rating in society. Lacie lives in a world where every interaction is rated by others on a one to five scale. The better a person’s score, the better opportunities they have. All the first class experiences of a highly rated person appeal to Lacie, but they come with sacrificing her genuine self as she’s constantly performing for others.

Lacie’s lesson in “Nosedive” warns us of a not as drastic but similar threat through social media –  losing in-person authenticity to constantly capture a highly positive online presence. 

Perhaps you choose for social media to be a place of mostly positive or neutral moments shared. That’s completely fine.

But, are you curating the highlight reel of your life, comparing it to others, and choosing to sacrifice real-world authenticity for virtual fame? That’s where the threat lies. 

For example, say you dislike the outdoors, but it’s fall and everyone is hiking and taking pictures of mountain views. You choose to go for a hike, deep down not because you enjoy hiking but because you want the summit picture that will result in high social media engagement. Or, you feel like a night of staying in, but you’re invited to a party with a lot of popular people. You choose to go to the party, take a lot of pictures quickly to post but only meet and greet to get new followers and fresh pictures to post, not because you genuinely want to be there. 

Maybe these exact scenarios aren’t something you’ve done, but insert any example of choosing to do something not because you genuinely wanted to but because everyone on social media is doing it or because you want the picture that will give you lots of likes. 

Is an action influenced by the motive to perform on social media or something you genuinely want to do to please or better yourself or loved ones? 

Now, at the heart of it, posting is to share who we are with others, and it is fun to see who connects with our shared image. I don’t think that’s wrong. I just think we need to add a dose of warning to the curation of self to make sure we’re being sincere. 

Tips to Check Your Motivation

  1. Ask yourself, am I doing something solely for the gratification of sharing on social media or because there is intrinsic motivation in the action? 

  2. Be in a moment you know is very “Instagramable” and ask yourself if you can live it and not share it on social. If the thought makes you angry internally, motivations are probably off. 

  3. Delay your social posts. Can you be in the moment, enjoy it, and then wait to post? If the thought makes you anxious, your motivations are probably off. Work on being present.

  4. Have periods of social media disconnect. You don’t have to delete anything, just have a day, week, or month of periodic social media disconnect. This will help curb an appetite for social media approval, check-in with yourself, and undistractedly connect with others.



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Making Goals Without Being Controlled by Them

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Don’t Let Your Phone Rob You of Your Life.