Choosing Passion Over Competition: Finding True Motivation in Your Actions
Have you ever realized that you’re doing something out of a desire to one-up another person or flex your abilities at a skill in front of them?
Maybe it’s subtle. Say…
> The party you went to was good, but you know you can outdo the last host. Time to hit Pinterest and start planning!
> Your co-worker can’t hold their own when talking about the intricacies of SEO. So, you steer the meeting conversation that way, showing the boss you’re better at that area of the business than the promotion competition.
> It’s family game night, and as a teenager you chooses a tried and true game you know you can beat your siblings at instead of the new game you’d really like to unbox.
Instead of choosing an action from a pure motive, you choose an action to look or feel better than another. Pure motives could be enjoyment, responsibility, desire to grow.
Unfortunately, when we trade pure motives for tainted ego-boosting motives, it does ourselves and the other person a disservice. We become distracted from our personal goals and values, and the other person likely feels disempowered.
Let your passion fuel you, not a competitive feud with someone else.
Time to revisit the examples above with a change in perspective…
> The party you went to was great! You can do the same, but you know you don’t really enjoy the planning process. It’s okay. Everyone has different skills, and yours lie elsewhere. You appreciate your friend and tackle the to-dos you get energy from. It’s okay to stick to the party themes you’re comfortable with and challenge yourself in other areas.
> Your coworker can’t speak very skillfully about the intricacies of SEO. You know this, so you only talk about the aspects of the topic that are necessary to address in the meeting. If you get the promotion, you want it to be on merit, not for pointing out another’s weaknesses.
> It’s family game night. You know you’re really good at some games on the shelf, but you’d really like to unbox the new game. Sure, there’s a likelihood that you could lose to your competitive siblings, but that’s part of learning new things.
Maybe your passion puts you in competitive situations: you play a sport, your field is oversaturated with skilled employees, you enter an art competition. Being in competitive situations is different than seeking out competitive situations to make yourself feel big and another feel small. It’s still possible to let your passion or pure motives drive you, not the desire to put someone else down in a humiliating way.
Ask yourself:
Am I doing X activity because it’s the right thing for me and the people in my life or because I want to one-up another person?
Am I doing X activity because it’s the right thing for me and the people in my life or because I want to flex my abilities in front of another person for the sake of making myself feel or look better?
When things get tense, think about your life vision, your goals, and why you do what you do. Let your passion be the fuel that drives you!