Learning to Celebrate
Shrugging off wins because “It’s not that big of a deal” is harmful. It robs us of joy and sweet reminders that triumphs are built, not overnight successes.
Sometimes we slink into a turtle shell after a job well done not wanting to draw attention to ourselves or thinking, “You can always get better, so is this really something to celebrate?” Rather than get excited, some tend to come up with a reason why the achievement isn’t a big deal but if *fill in the blank* had happened, it would be a big deal.
Appreciate the Building Blocks
Every win, “small” or “big”, is part of a progress journey.
You don’t do a couch-to-marathon in a day. You might feel a sense of achievement after your first 5K running nonstop, then 10k, then half marathon, and so on. Sure, you’ll probably feel the most accomplished after the most distance is run – the marathon – but that doesn’t mean each step along the way was less important. Each milestone was an achievement.
As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, explains: “Most of the significant things in life aren't stand-alone events, but rather the sum of all the moments when we chose to do things 1 percent better or 1 percent worse. Aggregating these marginal gains makes a difference.”
Pause to recognize each building block to a goal. If you only recognize “big” achievements, you run the risk of rushing too fast and depleting enjoyment or abandoning the goal out of frustration.
Why Celebrating Helps
When it comes to reaching goals, the emotion behind celebrating each win along the way can help you on your journey. Dr. BJ Fogg is the founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University and author of Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything. Fogg calls celebration a “habit fertilizer.” He explains that attaching an emotion to an action can help create habits.
“Celebration is the best way to use emotions and create a positive feeling that wires in new habits,” Dr. BJ Fogg.
Now, celebration doesn’t mean constantly throw a party for ourselves or buy something new all the time. It can be as simple as acknowledging a completed job or an achieved goal with listening to your favorite song on the way home or doing a fist pump or calling up a friend who you know will share in your joy. Whatever it is that works for you, the hardest part is probably remembering to do it and not simply rush to the next thing or belittling the accomplishment.
Attach a positive emotion to an accomplishment through celebrating, and that will reinforce the growth trajectory for you.
A Few Tips in Learning to Celebrate
Don’t compare your progress to others in a “Well, it wasn’t as good as ____” way. It’s good to want to improve, but comparison can be the thief of joy. Focus on improving yourself, setting goals, working to them, and celebrating.
Celebrate others’ successes. Be the friend who others want to call to share their joys. Celebrating with others is not only the right thing to do but also helps your own mental health and perspective.
When someone compliments you, say “thank you” without adding negative statements (e.g. “Thank you, but it would have been better if….”). This will help you own the milestone, and if the other person genuinely meant the praise, they want you to accept it.
Pause after you complete a building block accomplishment and name it that, an accomplishment. If you complete a 5K on the way to your goal of a marathon, pause and enjoy the feeling of completing the race and do what you need to do to own it as an accomplishment: journal about it, share a picture of the finish line with your friends, etc.